Category: the Rant Board
When coming out to my fiance, I've been constantly been getting pseudo masculine complaints from her. Everything of what I say like "everything is your fault" that is deemed a feminin social convention to how I sigh in public and other things are constantly fought against by her. She sadly like other americans are ignorant that yoga is a feminin exercise activity in origins, so can't do yoga for stress relief either even though drinking was worse! Even the things I wear like skinny jeans e.g. Tony Hawk skinny jeans are considered feminin which has some valid generalization but still it annoys me emmensely. A last attack is not being allowed in my living situations to even cook nor clean anything in the house cause that is the household cause supposedly girls are the only ones who like doing such things.
Secondly, I'm driven batty especially on genderizations of women and men in the U.S. I don't even feel like an american anymore and am quite honestly disgraced by the manipulation by the media and religion in this regard. For example, women are considered fraille or sexual products not as human beings at all. Likewise, I'm outraged that men are considered opposite rules like cannot dress in girls clothes, yet women can wear mens t-shirts without the least criticism. Another thing annoying of overall society is the pasts lack of emphasis of how men look even though this is changing in a big way. All of the sudden I'm accussed by my fiance tha wearing nail polish is gay! No problem with it just cause you wear nail polish doesn't mean anything now days though. Dated ideas like these annoy the daylights out of men and are unexcusable signs of illiteracy or a cancerous sign of our societies ideas of tradition.
Thirdly and finally, I'm tired of the segregationist mentality of either men or women of not having friends or nonromantic relationships. I've seen this everywhere just disgusts me like I cannot have girlfriends instead of boyfriends? Honestly I have more in common with women than men for multiple reasons just the whole notion that I share biological features doesn't mean that I'm naturally like them at all. In fact, much of what men stand for is not only foolish but incompatable in my world view of mutural symbiotic relationships as a whole. I'd like to also say that universals in logic don't apply in syllagisms so why do they last in society? I swear many times differences are devisized to segment us for Corporate sales of products like gossip magazines for women and sports magazines for men, etc even now days this is still definitely true. A last thought being that women definitely tend to be more open minded than men and think more long-term than do men, so why do men still control the vast majority of the political to economic power of the world?
hugs,
Peter
Hmmm, guess that's why I don't have much to do with society really. I do my cooking and cleaning, live by myself and have a few friends. I'm about 90 percent deaf, so I don't get out in to the public eye all that much for the simple reason that it's hard for me to know what's happening around me, not being able to see or hear what's going on. I'm a walking contradiction. My body is masculin, but a lot of my thought processes are feminen. I know when I was growing up, the other boys would laugh at me if I held my hands a certain way or walked a certain way, calling me all kinds of names. It angered me, but I knew some of the things they did at night, so I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, figuring they were just insecure.
I think if a man wants to wear women's clothes and do the housework, more power to him. Same for women. If they want to be truck drivers and mechanics, so what? If more people were allowed to serve their community in their own positive way and not worry about the gendor issues, the world would be a much better place.
I can totally agree with what you say! I notice that many things are still only directed at either males or females, even commercials/articles suggesting gifts (such as "for him, these sports equipments or tool sets" and "for her, this cooking set or jewlery"). It so annoys me just to hear/read things like that, as if a man is not supposed to be interested in cooking/cleaning or a woman is not supposed to want to use tools or be into sports. I'm a woman and don't like wearing makeup and most jewlery or collecting shoes or purses, whereas my brother has more clothes and shoes than I do. I will cook and clean because I love/care about my family/potential partner, but I would also expect him to know how to cook and clean as well or there should be a very good reason why he can't. I grew up with My parents sharing the responsibilities and being totally nontraditional. My dad likes to cook and work in his garden and also helps with cleaning, and my mom also does cooking and cleaning, as well as handling the financial stuff. Both like and know how to use regular and power tools and can do house and car repairs, and they also each have a part in organizing and decorating the house. That is one of the best things I love about my parents' relationship and that I hope will similarly happen if/when I marry. Actually, I personally don't like power tools, but it's not at all because it's supposedly a man's thing; I hate the noises they make and don't trust myself using them. It's not an ambition of mine to use them, but if I ever wanted something made, I'd gladly pay for any man or woman to do it for me. That's how I think men and women should be: we should not feel made/pressured into doing/not doing things based on expected gender roles and should do or like things because we personally do. I personally don't mind knowing a woman wants to stay home to raise children or a man wants to fix the family car, so long as that's that person's own choice and the other partner doesn't, expect, them to do it because "you're the woman so should stay home" or "you're the man so have to be the one to fix the car." I honestly admire that you are outspoken enough to speak your mind on exactly how you feel about this; I honestly don't personally know of any other guy who feels like that or if they do, they've never expressed it. Just keep being who you are in what you like to do, whether it's cooking, cleaning, dressing up, or whatever, and don't let anyone tell you you're somehow messed up for that; don't change because of her or society's opinion but because, you, want to.
*smile*
I can't believe some of what I read from even younger people! This division of labor sounds like my grandfather's generation, and he died in the late 80s. I realize I have had much to learn regarding the cultural differences between parts of the U.S., but still. I am a pretty average straight guy, but I cook, clean, pick up around the house. But not because of so-called roles inclusion, just because it's there and needs doing. And yes, I do enjoy making the holiday meals and things. And I enjoy doing romantic things for the Chick.
I think it's probably unproductive for people of either extreme to be focused on the roles and things. Not all of us who work out, eat meat and drink beer are so--called knuckle draggers, and just because our kids went their own way and it happened to lean more toward the traditional things of what people imagine are gender specific, that doesn't mean anything either. The side wanting acceptance has to give it also. For many of us, the collapse of the gender roles has meant only do what needs gettin' done, no more and no less.
Maybe I am just a odd one out being raised on the West Coast, and having an affinity to our ways out here.
Thank you so much 'Twinkle Star!' for your supportive words! I am very socially adepthed conciously of my social surroundings just that like gave me total confidense and everything. I can't help what feels natural like I can't help being attracted to men more than women just either genetics or social preference or whatever. Can't wait to fully come out with a possible job opportunity in Seattle and they have gay marriage now!
The older way of segmenting groups can't work in the modern economy with globalization just isn't functional anymore for the vast number of americans. The only ones who can afford this luxury or misfortune are well off individuals who are few and far between in normal society. If anything that I'm going to adopt and be an equivalent mom at home with a kid or two till they go to school myself! I'm a nurturer at hear and am not ashamed of admiting it either. The helper is my moto to help people to get along with living that is what I'm about! The creative aspect of being home also appeals to me with decorations and arranging things at home just makes the home more inviting. Lastly, I like the idea of playing host with food entres to my guests with new food items as I love trying new food as much as my guest should!
Why do people have something against crossdressers especially nonprovative attire? I'm a crossdresser and might have a sex change someday just don't see why people feel like they must demonize people like me out there. I love shaving my legs, armpits, privates, and other areas and dressing up like a girl myself! I even made a girls name up for myself but none of my physical friends accept that I am leaning gay and a crossdresser. I'm going to probably lose them as friends just seems so unecessary. We need to quit thinking win-lose and think appreciation of differences in this country that is what I think!
hugs and love,
Peter a.k.a Emily
Help me out on one point please?
You are male and you have a female girlfriend, a romantic one right?
You are coming out, because you have discovered you are gay, or are you bi sexual?
Other than that I agree to a point about things being done and not being gender associated.
However, I feel that women are women and men are men and some things are gender based.
Clotheing is an odd thing and it depends on style. Gelic men wear quilts and these are much like dresses or skirts, but they are manly men.
I personally don't like women that act manly. I am maybe old set in this were I like women to act like women in the terditional role model.
I don't want a girlfriend spitting on the street, or cursing and generally acting touch.
I don't think a man needs to act tough to be a man either, but I do think he should speak in his natural voice, not a put on high tone, or try his best to act female.
I think nature has given us a way of being and it is why people that have sex changes seem to not be able to fully become the one they chose.
Being gay, bi sexual doesn't mean you have to become the other sex. You can be a man or women in the natural sense, but enjoy your same sex just fine.
deep down, it all boils down to everyone wanting acceptance. People deal with it differently. Some get angry, some just get depressed. Some end up conforming to society rules as they see them, while others never really do. You might not be able to do anything about whether society as a whole accepts you and your ideas, but you can weed out those who are ashamed of you or who try to mold you for their own purposes. Sure, you might have to do business with them, but they don't have to affect you in a close personal capacity. As you gain confidence and keep heading down the road of discovery, some of this stuff will become easier for you. Whether you're gay, have lots of piercings and tattoos or any other qualities that make you stand out, if you flawnt them, people have to take notice of you. You'll gain some supporters as well as make some enemies along the way. For the most part, I'm more comfortable being in the backgrownd and doing what I can behind the scenes. i'm not comfortable with getting out there in society's face and forcing them to deal with me. not that there's anything wrong with either approach. Everyone has to find their own way and do what ends up working best for them.
Yes, I'm engaged with a woman but let me explain something about it. I've known since a child that I've been attracted to men and women in the physical sense. My only problem with being with a man has been the romantic or emotional connection aspect that is it with me. I never wanted to rail against the fence cause of the homophobic moores in society so I settled for less with being wih a woman. Lots of gay guys do this and come out in mid-life unlike me cause I'm a little younger than they are.
I don't agree that nature is not what defines me but rahter my nurture aspect. If I could pass it off that I might have surgery not going into it lightly though. As you can imagine, a decision like that cannot be really undone not a easy decision at all. I won't wear another guy tailored immitation of womens wear cause the material and in general it isn't right. I like feeling like a soft feminin girl and perhaps genetically in the womb that I was given much estrogen in the process not too lighlty but you never know. Often times that I get emotional and have social conventions of a girl not a guy at all.
Lastly, I know the key poin is that you must be comfortable with your own skin not anybody else. This is the problem in America that everybody wants to live for everybody else not themselves anymore. Like lots of people like owning huge television, new cars and homes, etc even though they are working so hard in debt that they cannot enjoy it. Ironically this is what I think that many men who are straight are in fact bisexuals cause of being hit on them even married men. I'm no whore though so don't appreciate it just affirms that I'm attractive! Anyways, I'd like to hear more prospectives on this and more!
hugs,
Peter a.k.a Emily
Well, I agree that you should live in your own skin completely. I do wonder though if you have explained your feelings to your engaged?
It be a shame to complete it, then have to say later that you always felt as you do, but went along to get along, but now have decided you just aren't doing this anymore.
I think people serve themselves, and the people they marry badly when they do this. If a person strongly feels as they do, when they decide they should simply come clean. You are anyway, so why not as soon as possible to minimize the damage to others?
There's nothing wrong with how you feel. Someone can't tell you or judge you and have a firm standing simply because you have certain preferences. At the same time, as long as you don't interfeer with other's beliefs and try to force them to believe what you do, there's no problem.
My fiance knows about my sexual tension and realizes that we might be breaking up fairly soon like three-six months from now. Its extremely complicated like I had seen a guy and had a bad experience. Thinking that I was not interested just keeps affirming the fact that I'm in denial of being a gay girly boy. I almost can't hide it anymore just want to tell the world "I'm gay and proud of it!"
However, I'm going to counseling and one of the first things my fiance wants to talk about is my sexual orientation. I'm not going to do that cause that isn't my pressing issue case I know what I am. This situation is interesting cause she isn't taking it hard like she is like I'll love you either way whether you are wih me, another woman or a man whichever makes you happy. This is the pure essence of love is giving without expecting anything in return. So, I continue cause of several financial to social issues in living where I live that is openly hostile towards gay men. Once I get my job in Seattle, etc that I'll come out there not here.
I'm honestly sorry it has to be so difficult. Good luck however.
Hey, wow. what a complicated issue it seems you're going through. I honestly don't get why you'd put off breaking up with her; Maybe she'd better serve you as a friend and let you live with her till you can get on your own feet, sort of as an agreement, a post-relationship arrangement, if you will. My reasoning is that you're giving her some sort of hope in not breaking it off; You're making her feel like maybe you might change your mind about being gay, or a cross dresser, or maybe you'll become less feminine with time, most of all, that you'll stick around and go through with the impending marriage. And, from the very first post on this board, you seem like you're on your way out more than you are in, if you ask me. For all intents and purposes, you seem like you've already entered into the mindset of being broken up with her. Now, I'm not prying, nor am I judging. I'm actually giving you insite on what she might be thinking, from a female's point of view. I just think you'd both be happier if you'd free each other of the obligations posed by the engagement so that both of you can be able to pursue other partners that might be better suited to you.
As for the feminine and masculine roles, I have to admit, I agree with you. Goodness, I'll tell ya, I for one don't understand what your fiance's problem with you cleaning and doing things at home stemms from. Because I have a fiance who cleans, cooks, helps out every step of the way with our little son who is a year old, and I love that about him.
I love the fact that he's not too macho to cook (he does a lot of the cooking while I bake most of the time). If people only let go of their assigned gender associations, I think men and women could communicate better as partners. And I'm talking right now with regards to streight couples as well as gay ones.
I think you should be yourself first and foremost. if you feel like cross-dressing, go for it. if you feel like doing things that may make you more feminine than most, well, that's your prorogative. Don't worry about what society will say as a whole. There are plenty of people who have crazy notions, who harm each other for fun, who relish violence and so on...The least of society's worries should be a guy who want's to wear a dress and shave his legs.
Now, with regards to your fiance again, I'd just say, keep in mind that she's entitled to her own personal oppinion and her own preferences. If she can't deal with your femininity, it's time to chock it up to incompatibility and move on, for both your sake and hers. You can't really blame someone for , not being into someone else because of certain preferences. You cant' change her, and she sure can't change you. This is why I say you might be better off breaking it off, sooner rather than later on an amicable note, so that you can still be friends. That way, she can still help you out and support you in whatever way she can, as a friend till you move. No use in holding her back, right?
Just my two cents.
I appreciate your words of advice seriously! Idon't have much family not any who would take me in, so that is why I'm not confronting her now about it. The last major fight that we had that she threw bars of soap at me cause of being in a drunken rage and yelling at me and almost became homeless then. Moreover, she has all of my financial documents with bank account numbers, checks, usernames and passwords as well not exactly simple cause she might be bipolar. Lastly, I will break it off as soon as I get he job not before cause of my insecurities and she knows this is already a possibility.
Secondly, why do I think that she doesn't want me to do home cooking and cleaning? Well, ever since the relationship that she has prided herself on being the girl in the relationship just wasn't sure from the beginning of lots of things. For one thing I didn't date her for the romantic element but for friend benefits e.g. going to bars, socialization, co-help and other things. I made mistakes like she made mistakes like me cheating on her with two-three people just realize that she knew that the relationship in the first two times wasn't serious right? So, the third time was with a man and it made it where she had to inflate my masculinity cause of being the girl in the sexual engagement. BTW: I did get tested just in case you were wondering.
Thirdly and lastly, my fiance reacts almost just like you on either break-it off or chalk it up to a one time occurance. She, my fiance wants me to talk about my sexual abuse like that is the only indicater cause of being raped by my next door neighbor as a ten year old boy with my brother watching. My fiance thinks that if anything that I'd hate men, but either that event or a litle before then that I've always felt more feninin after that. Then, tons of my friends being boys hit on me with sleep overs like showing their muscles off or pubic hair, etc to me. Several lots of guys hit on me something is different about me cause I like these girlish things, being hit on by gay or bi men, fantasizing solely now about men and etc right? Thanks for your advice just listening on what to do.
hugs,
Peter
Hey, no problem.
Anytime.
Wow, she's got you in quite a situation then, having your financial documents and all on hand. See, if it were me, I'd try to get that stuff out of her hands as soon as possible, regardless of whether you break u now or in a while. Doesn't sound like you really trust each other enough; Not for her to have the ability to exert that kind of power over you in any case. I'm truly worried about your situation for that reason, and I understand your predicament quite well. I get that you can't get out of the relationship right now, but if anything, as difficult as it probably will be for lack of resources, try to get a hold of your own paperwork. From what you've said, and I dont' mean to judge but just to provide you insite from a sideline perspective, this is certainly not the person you'll want to marry. Trust me. What you've described about your relationship spells trouble right from the beginning. I get shes' a good friend or started off as one, but neither fo you would end up being happy in the end. Especially if she's throwing things and you, going into rages, etc.
First things first, try whatever way ou can to get your paperwork and financial info bakc into yoru own hands. Taht kind of control over you is a little too close for comfort from someone who can't even except yor sexuality if you ask me.
Kind advice, nothing more.
BTW if you need a friend to chat with, feel free to send me a message on here
A call to your banking organizations and a changing of your passwords from another computer solves the money issue.
I do wonder why you decided to even get in to a relationship with a female at all?
This is not a judging thing, but I wonder.
I do understand living in a community that isn't gay friendly, but we are talking now, and even though a community is not friendly you do have some leeway now.
If you havd or have money, and this money honestly belongs to you homeless was interesting to get to be.
I ask questions, because I again wonder why people do this to themselves first of all, then to others.
I also wonder why others decide that forcing a person in to conceling, or something will change them from what they've been, rape not standing.
I don't believe a rape suddenly changes a boys mind, and bam, he's gay.
Okay, and here's a strong statement, and it will get me jumped, but maybe the rape, if it was that, causes discovery?
Please see my questions and statements as wanting to learn and not judge.
Man, that emphasizes one of the beliefs that I have, that when you are in a relationship, you do not have to give your significant other passwords and ways to access your information that is yours. That's asking for trouble in my opinion. I wouldn't mind giving my girlfriend my passwords, but that's because I have nothing to hide and she knows that. Therefore there isn't much of a point in giving them out.
I agree ryan. Why is it that people all of a sudden decide to be very generous with their personal passwords, bank accounts, etc. when they're in a relationship that's volatile to their well-being?
I say this because I was once in that kind of situation, and I regretted it till kingdom come even after the break up.
My ex convinced me to get a system access mobile account from Serotek, just so I could share it with him and he could test out the remote access feature on the account.
For those of you who don't know, the remote access feature allows you to control your computer from another location if, say, you're at work and you want to access your home computer, etc. Well, naturally, serotek's software package is made to be accessed by an individual, so basically, when I gave him access to my account, I literally threw open the door to my own computer for him to do as he pleased. And what do you know, the guy was a mental case. I should've known better but I was 18 and it was the first serious relationship I got myself into, unfortunately.
It sends chills down my spine when I think of this one time: my mom sat me down and told me, in no uncertain terms that my boyfriend was "abusive and controlling. In order to prove to me she was right, she had me go online and search on google about verbally abusive relationships and controlling partners. And guess what? He didnt' like the fact that my mom was: a. Taking me away from him when he wanted to talk to me on the phone, and B: telling me about this, as he called it "controlling bullshit.". so what did he do? He logged onto my computer and friggin shut it down. Right there, while I was sitting with my mom and typing in the keywords to search for in google. Talk about a scene streight out of a lifetime movie. It took me a long time to see her point, and even when I did realize I was in a really bad situation with this guy, it took me a long time to get myself unstuck from him.
Now, I'm in a really healthy relationship. It's smooth saling compared to my nightmare of the first one I was ever in. We respect each other, we're each other's equals, we're together because of love and because we've created a little boy together... And I dont' feel the need to share with him my passwords. He doesn't ask, and I don't really share. He knows some of my passwords just because I asked him to help me with some technical issues I've been having, but he promptly deleted them and said he doesnt' need to knwo my passwords, etc.
My point is, the person whom I trust the most respects me enough to not pressure me into sharing it with him. It just comes naturally. I don't mind sharing things like taht with him because neither of us has anything to hide, but when I was in a relationship where I couldn't really trust the guy, I didnt' really feel comfortable with it, I grudgingly gave him my personal info just to please him.
Moral of this long ramble? Someone who truly loves you and respects you won't try to take control of your personal matters for you. With time, you naturally end up sharing things with a partner who's close to you, but you still respect each other's personal space if it's a good relationship. Till this day, I dont' knwo my partner's bank account info and he doesn't know mine. One day, when we're married we'll probably open a joint account and so we'll both be aware of the account info. But for now, we have individual accounts and the beautiful thing is we respect and trust each other enough not to try and take over them in any way.
Well I agree with that.
I also get passwords from people I am dating all the time, but I ditch them soon as I am finished with what I need to do for them.
I could care less what they have or what they do. What you know to be so is what they do to and for you.
You'll know a person's not for you, and you won't need to look further then that person to know it. No need to pry.
The only other thing I advise a blind person to do is have access to your snail mail via a trusted source. Much credit was opened in my name by the lady I was married to, so of course I trusted, but I never knew I had so much credit power until after.
That my friends will bite your ass. That is a strong way to put it, but it is seriously true.
Why did I start dating my fiance in the first place? Well, lots of gay or bisexual men either grow up gay or latently e.g. midlife 1935-1945 years. I fall into the later category cause of societiues homophobia, fear of stds and not running into a guy who wanted more than just sex. All men sometimes want is SEX that isn't want I'm looking for especially in my college years. In short, I haven't found a guy who fits me like a glove not tried the gay scene cause of being scared of fitting in because of being blind, etc as well. I've heard horror stories not that long from now I'll try out another gay bar post-relationship.
I started off my current relationship like friends as I described in a previous post right? I needed someone to walk with me in the unpaved and unaccessible portions of my cities to get cigarettes, going to bars, lending money, talking friend and being here in general. Lots of this has to be because my mother died like only a year before. Much of my family are distant like three or so states away from me and wouldn't take me in so look at it that way. I admit that I was using her for a time, yet we eventually paid off her credit card $4500.00 like we are doing with my sisters funeral expenses now. the other containimated roots that we're dealing with is that our relationship was built on a combination of college and drinking excessively that we neither do anymore.
Thirdly, I know that I could change the passwords and perhaps change the account but that isn't the most dangerous information that she has on me. She also possesses my Social Security number, name of both of my parents, previous addresses of residences and lots of my belongings are in storage with her other family stuff. I literally don't have much anymore in my name cause I was morbidly afriad for years that I couoldn't work bills and buying things online. YOu see that I'm a very paranoid individual that is why I didn't do it. Foolishly I shouldn't have done this in hine sight but now I'm just afraid of the future. Lastly, I'm also distantly taking care of a brother with schizophrinia so cannot just take care of myself in this situation.
In conclusion, I don't know what to do like wing it till I get counseling, training, build up savings and then get a job is my current goal. This means disception and falsely making her fall as much in love with me as possible but I feel like I cannot afford to be honest now. No, I don't think rape influences sexual orientation but I disagree that the rape influences anything. My fiance thinks cause of that I am permanently psychologically damaged. I will say since that event that I've had a inferiority complex like nobody what I do that its just not enough for anybody. I also don't trust authority figures anymore thatt is why I couldn't be in the miliary, police officer or fire fighter cause that isn't for me. I'm perfecctly fine wih being a stay at home equivalentt of mom in raising two children myself or or being some type of counseler. All of this being said that I need to find a job and fix my other problems with stress, depression and etc first.
hugs,
Peter a.k.a Emily
Guess what girls happened to me? I just bought a new tactile-braille yoga mat with 2 dvd set and beginner cd set from Maxiaids.com! I love feeling sensitive, so am trying to find any accompanying yoga pants. If you could send me a message with url or ideas that would be really cut of you!
hugs,
Peter a.k.a Emily!!
Okay, okay. Forereel's head has been bumped.
Smile.
Enjoy.
Tx for your advice and I'll keep it in mind.
Wasn't advice.
Smile.
I was refering to the things you had said prior to saying bye.
For that you are welcome
I reread this, and still can't believe I'm reading this in 2013. Who actually thinks work is either masculine or feminine? I mean, I am a paleo straight white guy who likes to run hard and love chicks, well, one chick in particular. But when I do dishes, or took care of the daughter when she was little, or all of that stuff, that is domestic, but not necessarily feminine. After all, how else would single guys clean up their dishes and the like? And hate to break it to those who nag, but single guys clean up well enough on their own. Maybe it's just a Southern thing or something. I saw more what to me was backwards sorts of social constraints when living in Florida, but then again, they knew they were being different and backward. My generation didn't blaze that trail: my father's did. I was born in 1970 - long before many of you on here.
I do say, though, that it has occurred to me in the past few years that people who are working out some sort of a sexual identity or orientation situation there, tend to focus on so-called roles in ways that are foreign to the rest of us. I don't do the dishes, to prove that I can: I do them because they're there, they're dirty, and they won't wash themselves. And the food won't cook itself, and the laundry won't do itself. So there ya go.
Most of the so-called housework disparity can be summed up like this:
Man folds towels. Woman doesn't like how man folded towels; woman pulls down towels, unfolds them, huffs, re-folds them. Woman says "I have to do EVERYTHING around here!"
That's a far cry from Alexander McFatAss Sits on the couch while poor slave waif does all the work. I know that's a tough break for those who get their fantasy fix off all the sit-coms where men are the doofuses and the women nag them to death, and fools actually believe that stuff is real and not just a fantasy.
Frankly, I'm willing to bet that more households than anyone wants to admit are equitable. After all, all those surveys in your magazines? Probably filled out by the most disgruntled, and let's face it guys, gonna go ahead and be sexist here, we turd-stools don't like doing the surveys much anyway.
Why should it matter who does what in the house? As ong as everything is clean, that's what is more important. I personally hate doing laundry and folding it, but I'd rather do it than walk around in stinky wrinkled clothes. If I date someone I wouldn't expect them to do it for me, though it would be nice. Lol.